Cat sitter ruins friend's $500 teapot while they were away, refuses to pay them back: 'It smells like soap. It also has multiple scratches on the inside'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 24, 2026 10:00 AM EST

If you ruined a friend's expensive item, would you offer to replace it?

It's nice to be able to rely on friends for housesitting. If you have pets or plants, you know how expensive it can be to hire somebody to take care of them while you're away. If you can favor swap with friends and do it for each other, then you're both saving each other a lot of time and money. Plus, you can generally trust each other with your space and not have to lock up your valuables. But just because you're friends with somebody, doesn't mean it's easy to navigate a housesitting relationship. They might not know what things are precious to you, and may mess up in the process. This can usually be solved by good and open communication and a willingness to forgive. 

You have to let your friends mess up sometimes because you know you mess up. If you aren't able to work through this and forgive each other, then you probably weren't friends in the first place. But this takes two sides of openness and willingness to communicate. If one person is closed off and tries to get defensive in the way of a mistake, then it reveals a lot about their personality. That's what happened in the story, where a valuable teapot was ruined, and nobody wanted to take accountability for it.

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  • A person pours water into an expensive chinese teapot
    via Kien Lee

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • On the one hand, they didn't know how to take care of the teapot, and how much it cost, but on the other hand, they should've been more willing to correct their mistake. It's always tricky to get involved with friends and money. It makes things awkward almost immediately. But these things are bound to come up every now and again, and it's a test of your friendship to see how you handle them. Friendships have been lost over something way less valuable. But the person in the story wasn't sure if they should just cut their losses, or if they should stick to their guns and try to see this mistake through. Read on to see what the story was, and what commenters had to say about it.

  • My friend ruined my yixing teapot and I want her to replace it or give me 500 dollars.

    When I went to china I bought myself a yixing teapot. This is a clay unglazed pot that gets "seasoned" the more you make tea in it. Kinda like a cast iron pan. Since it is unglazed you can not wash it with soap, or any rough sponges.
    via u/TeapotthrwoCity4661
  • You clean it by using hot water and then you let it air dry. Nothing else. This is the issue, | left for a work trip and my friend watched my cat. ( I paid her) I told her she can use anything in the kitchen. My yixing teapot is not in the kitchen and neither are any of my fancy loose leaf teas for it. I have a normal kettle in the kitchen for guests to use.
    via u/TeapotthrwoCity4661
  • I can back and found the yixing teapot in my sink and it smells like soap. It also has multiple scratched on the inside. I called her up and she told me she used it becuase she loved the tea I make with it. She then washed it with a rough wire sponge and used soap. She didn't know where my sponges were and didn't want to put it in the dishwasher
    via u/TeapotthrwoCity4661
  • I tried to fix it and I couldn't, anything in it comes out with the taste of soap and the scratches are just getting bigger with every boil I try. It's ruined. I called her up and asked her to replace it since she ruined it. She told me to just clean it and I told her I have tried. She agreed and I sent her to the teapot form the same store I bought mine that was most similar (it's actually cheaper then the one I bought in china)
    via u/TeapotthrwoCity4661
  • It is about 500 dollars. She called me ped after I sent her the link, and refusing to pay it. She claims I should have told her not ot use it. I pointed out that it was behind glass and I didn't think I needed too. I asked her to pay again and she is p ed. Should I just cut my losses
    via u/TeapotthrwoCity4661

  • Commenters weighed in on the situation.

    pinetree8000 You can strip and re-season the teapot, just as you can strip and re-season a cast iron pot. Look it up or contact the store where you got it on how to proceed. YTA if you assume this can't be fixed without proper research.
    via u/pinetree8000
  • A woman folds her hands in front of her face, upset.
    via Ben White

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Filosifee I'm going to go with NAH for two reasons 1. You should always specify with people house sitting what you don't want them using. "Please don't use these sheets, or this special plate" etc. especially if she's had tea with you before and seen you
    via u/Filosifee
  • use it. There was no reason she would know not to. However, you did mention that it wasn't in the kitchen. 2. She seems like she was willing to pay to fix it until she found out how exorbitant the price is. Not saying it's unfair, because the price is the price. But I
    via u/Filosifee
  • personally would not be using $500 cookware at a friends house if I knew it cost that much. Neither of you are aholes, and you need to decide if your friendship is worth calling this a loss and moving on. If it's not, then keep pushing to get fully reimbursed.
    via u/Filosifee
  • Throwway_queer NTA I cannot imagine going into someone home, grabbing an item I know NOTHING how to take care of it, ruining it, and refusing to pay for it.... Absolutely not.
    via u/Throwway_queer
  • MaximusZacharia Something like that should be specifically mentioned either how to use properly or not use at all. Can't risk it. The friend may have thought you lazy and needed to clean it and did it to Be nice.
    via u/MaximusZacharia
  • calamityjimothy I'd offer to split the difference and find some middle ground. You might see some money that way and you might get to keep the friendship. Friends+Money=hard
    via u/calamityjimothy
  • dasgrendel80 Everyone has good and inexpensive homeware stuff in their houses, and there's an assumption that house guests will not use the 'good stuff' (or if they do, they look after it properly). It was in a glass display cabinet so clearly good. Any person with half a clue would get this.
    via u/dasgrendel80
  • I agree with another commenter that this seemed really unnecessarily destructive. I have multiple teapots of varying quality and expense, and I certainly wouldn't be using a steel brush on any of them. Who uses a wire brush on ceramics, which are delicate??? Ridiculous.
    via u/dasgrendel80
  • Any_Act_9433 NTA, I would invite her over for tea and make it in that pot. I would show up at parties with it and serve her tea from it. "You said you liked the tea that I made from this pot".
    via u/Any_Act_9433
  • rez2metrogirl NTA. You might have to take her to Small Claims Court if you really want to press the issue. Otherwise, just cut your losses. I would be telling all mutuals what happened, though. Get in front of the story. Frame it as property damage (it is) that friend is balking at paying for (she is).
    via u/rez2metrogirl
  • edwadokun NTA You might be able to reset it.. Boil it in water for 30-60 mins. Not boil water in it. Boil it in water. Let it air cool. Repeat until soap taste is gone.
    via u/edwadokun
  • No-Dress4626 I'm going to go with NAH. If something is that valuable, and requires very special treatment that most average folks wouldn't be cognisant of, it's kind of on you to make absolutely certain guests know to leave it well alone. Especially if they've seen you use it, and so probably think it's fair game.
    via u/No-Dress4626
  • At the same time, you did leave more general instructions about what could or could not be used, and your guest did not heed them, and that's 100% on her. Is it worth seeing if you can negotiate a half cost donation towards a new one using that logic?
    via u/No-Dress4626
  • Category6818 What a j I'd demand my • money back and threaten police involvement, but if that doesn't work, then yeah, I'd just cut her off. Sorry that happened. Next time make sure the teapot isn't only "not in the kitchen", but is out of sight entirely, and has a sticky note on it that says it can't be used for xyz cleaning reason.
    via u/Category6818
  • Djolumn If you have a kitchen tool that has extremely particular care instructions, you should probably let a guest know not to use it. No one who's unfamiliar with the particulars of this pot would know it was so unique. People wash teapots with soap and a scrub all the time. What your friend did is the expected behavior for a teapot layperson.
    via u/Djolumn

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friendship family drama drama FAIL house sitter friends teapot catsitter money
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